I smell bull-paki…..

OOOH, my spaceman suit feels so gooood. If I lie on this angle all my fat will drain out the legholes! Brilliant!

Now, please!

I like my internet fast. I like not waiting at the lights. Packages that arrive more than a week after I have bought them may as well not exist. Nothing is ever quick enough anymore.

I’m pretty sure this is not news to you. We live in the google world.

So, when it comes to health and better food, why is it so difficult to stick with it? I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this.

We recently looked at some hilarious advertisements in health psychology, about the miracle claims that some companies in the diet industry make.

Did you know that if you eat vegetable soup everyday FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE you will lose weight? Amazing. Let me just go and turn on the oven… so I can put my HEAD IN IT.

As if anyone is going to be able to eat soup forever. Even the 30 days or whatever they are suggesting is still too long. It’s soup for goodness sake.

We are not designed this way. As the old cheese ad says : Good things take time.

They are so right. It can be such an illusion that weight loss or fitness just ‘happens’ because we see it on TV (people will do anything for a million bucks) and we have no idea of the time or dirty tactics involved.

If soup isn't your thing, all you need to do is wear these magic toe rings! Be sure to buy two sizes, one for now, and one for when you lose so much weight your toes shrink and you need a smaller pair!
If soup isn’t your thing, all you need to do is wear these magic toe rings! Be sure to buy two sizes, one for now, and one for when you lose so much weight your toes shrink and you need a smaller pair!

Changing your entire lifestyle is not an easy event.

There are choices that you have to make on a daily basis. You have to learn to adore the words “no thankyou, I don’t eat cronuts”. It isn’t easy. Everyone has their weak spot. As previously discussed, I like beer. I also like whisky. When I partake in those, my “no thankyou’s” become a little more “hahahaha, ok!!!” Not great.

But each day I wake up and believe that I am not doing this for any short term goal. This is forever! So how can I make that fun and sustainable?

Apparently the key to a rounder and more tanned bum is to frequent more mexican restaurants and cafes.....
Apparently the key to a rounder and more tanned bum is to frequent more mexican restaurants and cafes…..

I think you have to work out what you do actually enjoy in the world of vegetables and good foods. I am never going to enjoy beetroot. My daughter has helped my learn this. Every.Morning.

Also, as much as I want to advise you on the benefits of chia seed (as I have already..) the ground stuff kinda tastes like earwax. It burns. How is that helpful to me?

So, I have to find creative recipes that work for my lifestyle. This can be trial and error.

 

I have had some epic fails. Those ones usually don’t make it onto my instagram account.

But my point here is that making changes in your life to achieve better health and wellness is not an overnight process. There is not, and never will be a magic pill.

It is hard work, and about half of it goes on between your ears (your brain I mean, not your mouth). You have to ignore that voice that screams “I am on my period, bow to all the sugar you heartless bitch” and tell your brain that it will thankyou when you don’t collapse with guilty exhaustion from the sugar crash that is inevitable.

"Darren, you look so good in your sweat suit.." "Thanks Tiffany! Just yesterday I weighed 700 pounds! Can you believe it?"
“Darren, you look so good in your sweat suit..”
“Thanks Tiffany! Just yesterday I weighed 700 pounds! Can you believe it?”

Be real.

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth pacing yourself and doing it right. Make good decisions everyday and be bloody proud of yourself.

Purchasing these is not a good decision.

pants
Orange isn’t the new black.
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