I’ll pass on the Orange Shake thanks.

Holy mother of all things orange and raging. This has been the worst week since that time I won the  Canterbury Regional Athletic Sports for High Jump (first letters capitalised because that’s how exciting it was when I was 11), then went home to ride my bike, crash into my (overly large, but no judgement) neighbor on HER bike and break my leg into, like, 3 pieces.

I mean, this week started out fine. Monday was good. Tuesday was good.

Then Wednesday came and fucked the whole thing up. You remember Wednesday right? (In New Zealand that is) That day we had the T.V going, Twitter open, Facebook scrolling… That day when we realised that literally anyone can become POTUS?

Yeah. That was a day.

Obvs I am in New Zealand. James tells me it’ll all be ok because I am in New Zealand. But I have deep seated trust issues and don’t 100% share his ‘chill out mofo, it’s all good in the hood’ mentality.

Okay, so Thursday was dedicated to disbelief and general soul searching. And grief. A lot of grief (for me and the kids that is… see above for how James coped).

Then Friday came, and James and some of the kids (there are a lot of kids. I lose count) went off to have a break in the Sounds. I spent a blissful weekend watching the last season of Breaking Bad; a tradition usually reserved for the week before Christmas because I enjoy watching the demise of Walter White and the production of meth more than the prospect of Christmas trees and extreme consumerism…

Saturday came… (see above)

Then Sunday. I will admit there was a work brunch on Sunday morning that served to bring much joy and happiness to my taste buds. I highly recommend the eggs benedict from Hello Sunday if you are in Christchurch.

I digress. James got back, we talked about why I was still angry over the election result (get used to it babe, there will be 4-8 (God-help us all if it’s 8) years of this from me). Then we went to bed.

Anyone that lives in ALL OF NEW ZEALAND will now know that Sunday (actually Monday if we are being accurate) announced itself in a momentous, unstable blast of 7.5 magnitude.  We are kind of used to shakes in the night. It’s been happening continuously for 6 years since that first Christchurch earthquake. Most of the time you wake up, assess if there’s any point putting clothes on and checking on the kids, realise you are all good to remain partially naked, and go back to sleep.

But Sunday (Monday, bloody Monday) had us up, dressed and down the stairs to make sure everyone was accounted for. Unfortunately for me, two of my kids were staying at their father’s house for the weekend. By the beach. So I spent a good 2 hours trying to reach them and warn them that a Tsunami was being forecast (forecasted?) by the Civil Defence.

Long story short there were many cuss words used, e cigarettes puffed on, and wine consumed as I received no communication from the adults by the beach, however the kids were able to let me know they were seeking higher ground.

I sat in my car listening to the radio (must get onto that emergency kit with the portable radio… ahem) and waiting for the aftershocks, which arrived in predictable waves causing nausea and continued anxiety.

The news was not so positive for the areas north of us, and I eventually went back to bed feeling sad and exhausted.

So no, it wasn’t a great week. But it’s Monday again. (Oh wait, no it’s not… I slept through the rest of Monday thanks to my sponsor… Xanax)

Revised: It’s Tuesday again. Back to working from home writing copy for a lovely American company, trying with all my might not to ask how they are feeling about the Angry Orange Racist (Capitised letters this time due to, well, the obvious) just in case my bewilderment is not shared.  The sun is out, and it’s a beautiful day to go to the beach walk around the hills.

I am choosing to be positive today (this post doesn’t count, kay?) and even though I have finished watching Breaking Bad Trump won, and there is no imminent way to travel up State Highway 1, my life will still go on.

Here’s to a week without Civil Emergencies. Oh, and National Earthquakes.

(see what I did there?)

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Michelle says:

    It’s been a hell of a week, all right. And we didn’t even have a massive earthquake, just a few days in a row of storms. Glad you guys are okay, and recovering. I still have moments of total disbelief but am aiming to be positive… after all it’s not like America hasn’t voted in idiot presidents before. Though none so nasty, I’ll admit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Being positive is a good thing. It’s a case of ‘time will tell’ I think.

      Liked by 1 person

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