Don’t worry, I’m not oversharing. It was NOT that kind of morning.
For some magical reason we all slept in a little today. I was up late last night having heart palpitations because an interview I had given with the glorious Millie Elder-Holmes had been posted on her blog (here) and I realised that people might actually read it. So I was cycling through feelings of manic excitement and terror whilst chugging a Pure Blonde beer, which incidentally is the saddest beer. It’s low carb. Ordinarily I like a beer I can chew, but I’m trying to turn over a new leaf here guys, I really am.
We slept in. It’s a Monday morning and the kids had to be coaxed out of bed. Let’s be honest, I had to be coaxed out of bed.
I won’t lie. I kind of always had this dream of some day being one of those women lying in bed in the morning with coffee and a cute oversized man-shirt that makes me look simultaneously adorable and completely shaggable.
This morning I woke up in a grey singlet with one boob hanging out, mascara on my pillowcase, and a mouth full of my own hair, to J letting me know with indignation that “the cat shat in the laundry again”
He did not have a tray of croissants.
I finally got up and slowly made my way downstairs. 10 minutes before we had to leave, one of the kids let me know that the tongue of his school shoe was ‘gone’. Like, gone. Just, ripped right off and lost forever.
Not that I don’t enjoy a mild panic in the morning, but I had a headache, and had to clean shit residue off the laundry floor…. so I just said
“how the f**k do you lose a shoe tongue???” “Just wear them anyway, no-one will notice.”
After dropping J’s kids at the bus stop, returning back home, picking up my son, dropping him at his school, I got home and realised I’d done the entire thing without a bra.
I’d say I was embarrassed, but I’m all maxed out.
Maybe tonight I’ll shave my legs. At least I’ll be one step closer to the fantasy.
How was your morning?