There’s a spider carcass in my car.

So here’s my week in review. You know, because you have been desperate to read about that. *hahaha*

After the last post   I started thinking about my attitude towards car trips, and how they really are a nice way to spend time with J (sans kids, because you read the bit about inappropriate adult behaviours didn’t you?). So knowing that we had a free weekend coming up, I made the suggestion of heading up to Gore Bay, and possibly up to Kaikoura. (Spell check wants me to change Kaikoura to Kookaburra. I feel like spell check should learn to understand context).

So we did.

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Obviously stoked because I found the perfect log for vanity yoga photography. 
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J NOT doing yoga on log. In fact, using log in the correct way. Good for you J. 

We made it to Gore bay and had a picnic.

J had made gourmet sandwiches, and I had a container of meat. Not even sorry.

We didn’t stay for long as we had decided it would be good to “pop up” to Kaikoura, usually only an hour or so from Gore way… but the roads were closed again, so we took the ‘scenic route’.

After 17 and a half hours and two spiritual podcasts later (which I had hoped would turn into a good discussion, but instead turned into  (me: )”what do you think about the intervention of  God as a reality” which was meet with (J):  “………” ) we made it to Kaikoura, just in time for the cafes to be shut.

Weirdly there was an icecream shop where I was able to get a coffee (no cream though as they didn’t have that in their icecream shop. )

It was too early to have dinner in any of the restaurants, so we drove up to the end of the line (where the roads are closed) and sat and watched the sun go down over the water.

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I won’t lie, it was  a bloody romantic set up and a perfect place to redeem myself…(again, read last blog) however there were a bunch of vans parked next to us, and some helicopters flying close overhead. I figured it was probably not the best idea to traumatize a bunch of tourists, plus it was getting really f**king cold.

And that’s no way to redeem anything…. if you get my drift.

On the way home it was really dark, because you know, nighttime and all.. and it was by sheer luck that we passed under a street light just as a giant spider crawled up and parked itself on the dashboard beside the window.

J scrambled to get something to squash it, because although we generally err to the side of catch and release, this was not an opportune moment. All he could find was his iPhone.

I still have not removed it’s carcass from my car. I feel like it’s outside my job description.

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It looks bigger in real life, I swear (said every guy on Tinder ever.)

Anyway, to sum up, it was a fun day/night. We needed it. (minus the spider).

In other news I have nearly run out of all my makeup samples. You know the ones they give you at fancy department stores in the hopes that you will come back and buy them? Like, what? No. I am not going to pay $97 for an eyeliner, but yeah, sure Mecca Cosmetica lady-with-45 tonnes-of-foundation-on (who I’m actually jealous of because she probably owns the full size bottle) I’ll take your free sample in two different shades, and I will use it all up, then pretend I’ve never been here before and try and score another one… Am I the only one who does this?

I don’t get how expensy these things are. I was reading about a facecream that costs like $507 (but down from like $518, so sign me up for two how about..) It’s meant to reverse all signs of age, make you wealthy, happy and athletic (ok, not those last things, but it f**king should) It’s grown in algae or something. And they put the algae under pulsing light to make it more powerful (again, my understanding of this scientific process is a little vague) and it comes in a tiny tub, and you put it on after you have bathed in caviar and washed you hair with organic Norwegian Egg Milk extract.

What.

How is it SO EXPENSIVE? Do rare dolphin breeds come and float around it? Do mermaids frolic in the algae performing youth-enhancing mating rituals?

Anyway, I felt better when I read that a women tried it on one half of her face, and Nivea cream on the other (which incidentally cost her like $2 from a Boots drugstore in the UK) and then had a guy from NASA do a face scan, and  the Nivea side was way better.

Which is all very fascinating, but I have still run out of samples.

And there is still a spider carcass in my car.

And I also burnt my palms with the juice of raw jalapenos last night.

But that’s a story for the next blog.

 

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